Dealing With Tal's Death

This is very brief. In the current D&D campaign we are playing (which is sadly on hold because of personal problems for one player which is affecting us all), Terry's character died. My character was devastated. They had been friends since childhood and lovers since she was 15. Tal had made an accusation against someone we believed was trying to destroy our kingdom and as a result, the two fought. The fight went well. Tal lived through that. It was the attack afterward that he didn't survive. Tal was reincarnated, but at the time I wrote this, Natani didn't know he had been brought back. Natani had been injured in a battle of her own, by a wizard who had exploded when he died. Kaz was the group's assassin/thief. Pots is the group's cleric. Both are Natani's cousins.

Their last argument rang in her ears. Each labored breath Pots took increased the volume of the words until she covered her ears to try to drown them out. Nothing worked.

She hadn’t wished him good luck in his battle against Ansel, but then she had never wished him luck for any of his previous duels either. This one was different though, and they all knew it. She had doubted his abilities this time and he had won. And died to a lesser man in the combat that ensued after.

The pain had lessened enough for her to move and Natani rolled to her side away from Pots. She pulled the blankets over her head, but the words and his breathing could still be heard.

She had disgraced and dishonored Tal and now she could do nothing to rectify that. They had argued, she had yelled at him in front of servants who did not understand and she had doubted him. She had failed to do as Leilwyn had asked and Natani did not know if it would have brought Tal back, but it didn’t matter now. Would Kaz speak for Tal, and if he did, would the elf allow it, since Natani spoke first?

She had said it would be better for her to find someone from Skyhorse than to stay with Tal. Why did they always have to argue? Her parents didn’t argue like she and Tal, but her mother seemed content with her position within their society. Natani had seen something different and knew she had more to offer than just as a woman who needed to settle down and have children, serve her husband and keep the family longhouse in good order. At this rate, with Tal’s death, she had even lost the chance to be a wife and mother.

The pain in her muscles and her chest couldn’t compare to the emptiness she felt within her and when she took a ragged breath, the tears began to flow.